Ever have one of those days when you just can’t go to
church? Your body is screaming to stay
within the confines of the sheets which now feel like they are the most
luxurious Pima, cotton fiber; the warmth is perfectly matched with your own body
temperature; and the position you are in is one you feel you could stay in eternally
without ever having to toss or turn!
Kurt and I have those times which our judges/critics would say, “too
often!” In fact, when we do go to the
church we have attended together for over two years, we still get well
intentioned “greeters” with extended hands zealously welcoming us to church and
inviting us to fill out the “guest” card!
One Sunday, a couple of months ago, we didn’t fight the urge
to purge church. After actually seeking
the Lord for His approval, we truly did feel we were not compromising and this
was one Sunday to stay in our jammies, sip a rich cup of chai tea for Kurt, bold
cup of creamer laced coffee for me, and hold a “church” service between the two
of us. We sought the Lord prayerfully
about how He wanted the two of us to gather together in His name, guaranteeing
He would be there in the midst of us, (Matt. 18:20). This particular morning, I shuffled over to
the computer, still in that painful, “not awake for anything but a cup of
coffee” state. I attempted to chase away
the cobwebs of sleep as well as the guilt for not getting up earlier and
heading off to church and fumbled on the keyboard pecking out the search for
Joel Osteen. Scanning his sermons, I finally
just clicked on one, trusting God that whatever would come forth would be relevant,
in the same way one just opens their Bible with eyes closed and pokes their
index finger onto a random page, then expectantly opens the eyes to hopefully
see an encouraging word from God and not a scary one about war, death or End
Times!
I love Joel’s positive attitude. I can identify with Joel’s insecurities when he
was perfectly comfortable behind the camera, quietly observing. He, like Jeremiah and Moses, didn’t feel he
was qualified to lead with words and yet, God has the WORD of the Lord pouring
out of his mouth. I realize there are
those who disagree, and that’s fine as long as we believe what we feel about
this man or any other person is from a place of discernment, filtered through
God’s heart and not just coming forth from our own opinion, pain, judgment, criticism,
or fear. I know this happens against
this particular servant of God, because I too used to be bothered by watching
him and hearing his message. My sincere
apologies are extended to Joel if he ever comes across this BLOG! I feel the need to validate that I LOVE this
man and that I KNOW God is using him in a big way right now for the season my
husband and I are currently experiencing.
The streamed service began with worship which was nice but
wasn’t taking me into the inner chambers of the Holy of Holies. This type of music is more what I call “praise”
and it uplifts your spirit and “peps” you up, which frankly was what I needed
to clear my head and awaken my sluggish body.
The worship team then moved into a deeper level of worship with a song
which took me to the place of adoration and passion of the Lord which I love to
enter.
Kurt and I were each comfortably seated in our own
respective chairs, he in the cushy recliner, and me in my comfy yet chic
upholstered chair. As is my habit with
worship at this level, I began to sing along slipping into spontaneous worship
in which the Holy Spirit and I trail off into another musical composition which
complements the vocal of the song playing.
It’s a lovely place that delves you right into the midst of the heart of
God. It’s difficult to explain, but it
is a place of abandon where you are no longer self conscious of how you sound
but just want to express heartfelt gratitude and worship of the One who is worthy
to receive such. We are told to worship
Him with these types of songs, (Eph. 5:19) yet few traditional or mainline
churches are willing to “go there.” It
creates an atmosphere of untold beauty, but to those who feel a need to be
completely in control or who truly need to be “dignified” it is just too
uncomfortable. Some churches don’t
realize this is available to us. I
however, HAVE to go to that place with God in worship. I hunger for it because His presence is so
amazing and touches my heart in ways that when I stay outside His Holy of
Holies, afraid to fully enter into His presence, it is unsatisfying and dry to
my soul. This place of worship is a
place of intimacy that only a complete abandon to self gets to experience. As we give all to Him, hungering and
thirsting for him as a deer pants for water, (Psalm 42:1), He shows Himself
strong and His enemies scatter, (Psalm 68).
Some of those enemies of God are the very things that hurt His
children. So this place of abandon,
where the Lord has taught me to go, is a place where I am delivered of pain and
healed of what caused the pain. My
Healer and Deliver is in this sweet place of surrender and I love to go meet
Him at His alter. Often, I am moved to
tears as I experience His beauty and tenderness. I understand my description will be foreign
to many who read this and at the risk of even sounding crazy to some, I will
assure you that once you experience true worship at this level you will not be
satisfied with the mundane ever again.
My Lord spoiled me and now having tasted the finest tender filet mignon,
I cannot return to hamburger. This is
fine dining! This is tasting and seeing that
the Lord is good, (Psalm 34:8).
So it was while having that worshipful experience of
blessing the Lord with my all heart that Sunday, He in turn blessed me. He instructed me through unction to go lay
prostrate on the floor and pray in tongues.
This is the way the Holy Spirit has given me to pray when I don’t know
how to pray. Right at this point I may lose some of you and a major reason why
is that this gift is so misunderstood through wrong teaching. (For an article God gave me over a year’s
time span on the precious gift of speaking in tongues, which is scripture
based, please email me: kissfromgodsheart@gmail.com).
While I was lying prostrate on the floor, praying in this
manner, the tone of the language shifted from worshipful to warfare. I could feel the warrior rising up in me as a
much more bold tongue came forth. Even
at the risk of freaking out my husband who had not witnessed warfare tongues in
me before, I could not quench what the Lord was doing at that moment. I lifted my head off the floor and found
myself extending my forearm in a powerful point. What I saw before me in a vision was a row of
impish looking creatures which were lined up shoulder to shoulder just on the
horizon. For those who remember the
disgusting Lamisil commercial for toe nail fungus, that repulsed me to the
point I had to look away, these creatures looked the most identifiable to
those, only this time I was equipped with the power and grace of the Lord and I
would NOT look away but directly into their eyes. They were all closely observing me as if just
waiting for an opportunity to advance.
Suddenly, I felt the actual presence of my husband standing over me and
then lying down to cover me with his body as if he needed to protect me from
eminent harm. Even though he didn’t have
a clue at the moment what in the world was happening, he too had unction from
the Lord to which he was obedient. I
equate his action as if we were being attacked by enemies yet he was taking a
bullet for me, hiding me with the covering of his own body. Later he told me that during that worship
experience for him, the Lord told him to go cover his wife! This was a symbolic act on his part of the
scripture that tells husbands to cover their wives as they are our covering, or
protection, (1 Cor. 11). Because Adam
did not “cover” his wife, his passivity left them both, as well as all future mankind,
in a state of being “uncovered” or stripped of the glory of God.
This was profound for me in so many ways. Even though my husband had never witnessed
such an occurrence, he still trusted the Lord and was able to be obedient to
hear and obey what His God was telling him to do. This showed that even though he may not have
understood what the heck was going on, and he certainly could have been tempted
to think I had flipped out, he still participated in the event in the manner he
was instructed by God to do.
This was
monumental for me as it gave me encouragement that I will be free to operate in
the gifts the way God instructs me, even in front of my husband. The closet intercessor in me can come out in
the presence of my husband without fear of rejection, shame or judgment. The support I felt in his acknowledgment of
that moment as a legitimate encounter with the Lord was massive in sealing our
relationship at a deeper level than ever before. Although it could have been a very
uncomfortable encounter for the obvious reasons that it can be offensive to our
minds, it was an amazing and inspiring encounter ultimately, and a moment I
wouldn’t trade for the comfortable yet mundane worship experience.
If you accept my encounter as legitimate, what does it all
mean? We are told all interpretation
belongs to the Lord and He gives it to whomever He chooses, (Gen. 40:8). We are also told in 1 Corinthians 14:13 to
ask for the interpretation to what we are praying. So I asked.
I’d like to tell you I got an immediate response, but I didn’t. It has taken two months for me to get the
full interpretation, or at least, what I believe at this moment is the complete
interpretation.
Initially, I kept pondering the phrase, “On the horizon.” What could I see on the horizon? I could see demons waiting for the chance to
advance. I knew this was a warning from
the Lord not to give opportunity to the enemy by opening doors which would give
them legal right to come against me. Since
then, I have had many opportunities for strife, bitterness, resentment, and
jealousy, just to mention of FEW of the ways that entrapment has seemed to have
been unleashed and knocking at the door of my heart. I would like to tell you I sailed through each
attempt to ensnare me. I can honestly
say I have, with the grace of the Lord, advanced victoriously through some
trials, however, others I was not so successful and will get to repeat the
trial until I achieve complete freedom from any hold those things have on me. :-}
I knew in my gut the warning was only a portion of the
interpretation, and I kept feeling an urge to keep seeking the Lord for
more. The rest of the interpretation has
come to me while speaking with a very precious friend. I am safe with her and she listens with a Godly,
tender heart. Because God yoked us
together in a powerful spiritual way, we seem to flow in an anointing for God
to speak to us when we are in prayer together.
While in conversation with her, the vision came back to my mind and I
knew I was supposed to share it with her.
I then saw the vision again only this time I could see one of those
demons up close to me, facing to his left, turned that direction, with his
torso/belly right in my face. I knew
this meant one particular event was very much “in my face” or would be actively
coming against me. Days later, something
occurred which wounded me at a very deep level but which I am not privy to
share at this particular moment with you.
Suffice it to say, it touched on the very core of an emotional situation
for me and has had profound effects. I
believe God is using it for good and I’m grateful for the trial which actually
brought about health to my mind and emotions as well as to others I dearly love
and to our relationships. I have also
been able to see my husband, once again, prove his love and support for me.
A second prayerful conversation with my sweet sister in the
Lord brought the vision back. I could
still see that “up close and personal” view of the one demon; however, I felt
it was a different meaning this time. While
I was describing what I was again seeing to my friend I began to think of the
scripture in Genesis 15 which speaks of Abraham entering into covenant with the
Lord which would redirect his life and open up great blessings not only to him
but to all mankind. A sacrifice had to
be made which meant animals were killed.
(For those who are offended at animal sacrifice of the Old Covenant,
please understand that through sin, death entered this world and that these
“offerings” are symbolic pictures of innocent life being shed for another;
which leads us straight to the person of Jesus, the most innocent LIFE being
sacrificed for our sins and taking our place, paying the price for sin which was
death; yet rising above and overcoming that penalty. Thereby we, who accept His sacrifice of
Himself taking our place and paying our price, are thereby saved.)
There was a point in the new walk with God, which Abraham
had to shoo away the birds of prey because they wanted to take those sacrificed
animals for themselves. This is a
picture of how whenever we are getting ready to embark on a new journey with
God at a deeper level than ever before, the enemy of God, satan and his kingdom
activity, come against that action and try to steal the sacrifice we are making
in surrender to our Lord. This is the
enemy’s attempt to prevent the plan of God from coming to fruition in our
lives. It is interesting to note the
Hebrew word for birds of prey in that scripture literally means,
“ravenous”. Satan can be relentless in
his pursuit to prevent God’s best for our lives when he sees the powerful
impact our choice to go forward with God will have.
That up close view of the torso of the demon in my vision represented
me being able to see the intentions of the heart of evil since it was right in
front of me. The objective of the enemy
of my Lord and me is to steal the new walk of which my husband and I are
embarking. Those demons on the horizon
are the birds of prey that are drawn to the place of sacrifice; to the place of
new beginnings; what is right on the horizon of breakthrough as we yield our
hearts, minds, emotions, bodies, finances, relationships, work, and all other
things associated with our lives to the Lord’s plan for our lives. We have to do as Abraham and shoo them away
as they are specifically assigned the tasks to steal, kill and destroy the LIFE
that Jesus came to give us in abundance, (John 10:10).
How do we shoo them away?
We are to use the weapons of God which are mighty through Him for
pulling down strongholds. What do
strongholds that have to be pulled down
and birds have in common? They are both up
in the air. It’s no accident that satan
is called the prince of the power of the air.
That is the realm above Earth, but we tend to think of it as outer
space, or where the clouds are, much higher up than another reality of where
there is “air”. There is air around our
heads! This employs the most active
place where satan tries to dominate…our minds!
He brings the thoughts to our minds which will be unhealthy,
unproductive, fearful, anxiety producing, negative, destructive and which will ultimately
defeat us if we don’t shoo those thoughts away.
In this passive action of keeping them, they will then become a stronghold
which will capture our thought life and thereby our life.
I don’t know if any of you have ever been attacked by a
bird, but they purposefully dive bomb your head. They try to attack you at the highest, easiest
target for them and like satan, they instinctively know it’s our heads. We just think we have random thoughts
floating around in our minds, but those thoughts are very purposeful intents of
the evil heart of the enemy of God to hurt our Father where it counts the most,
by harming His children through a most powerful means; what they are thinking
about. This is why God instructs us:
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix
your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely,
and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of
praise.” (Phil. 4:8, NLV)
To be perfectly honest, even though I know this, I still
have trouble some days “fixing” my thoughts on good things. It actually feels good to my carnal flesh,
(that portion of my mind, body and emotions which still have not been renewed
to the word and to which I still have not crucified to death,) to feel sorry
for myself; to be justified in my anger or offense; to protect myself with
unbelief so I won’t be disappointed if things don’t go the way I want; to be
judgmental and critical; to be jealous and threatened; to blame someone/thing
other than being accountable for my own actions and choices.
Some days the enemy is ravenous with his relentless attempts
to take hold of my blessings in the Lord.
How, then, do I succeed at overcoming those bad thoughts in those
moments?
God has shown me something that
is powerful and works for me. There is a
spiritual law called the power of agreement; when two agree, they have what
they have agreed upon, (Matt. 18:19).
What the enemy is after is your SURRENDER to him, giving up and just
agreeing to the thoughts he is trying to poison your mind with. If you agree with him, either through concurring with the thought or by consension through not purposefully standing
against those thoughts, then the thought becomes yours and you have taken it
into your heart. This was the very
tactic used by satan in the Garden with Adam and Eve. It was to get them to agree to what he was
telling them instead of the word God had given them. Adam’s failure to DO what God had instructed
him to DO left them wide open to the attack that ensued.
God has to allow what we want for our life which gives us
the free will to choose. If we choose to
align with the thoughts of the enemy this shows we are in agreement and thereby
“want” what he is dishing out for us to partake of. Even in passivity, we are showing agreement
because we are not actively coming against that thing to deny its access in our
lives. We are either for or against;
there is no third choice of “middle of the road” or indecision. (Matt. 12:30; Deut. 30:19)
When those thoughts
come, if we will instead just say, whether in our hearts/minds or out loud if
appropriate, “I am not in agreement with that,” it breaks the power of what the
intent was and the fiery dart that shot through the air at our head is
quenched! It will be a complete miss of
the target instead of a bull’s-eye. Some
days, we may need to repeat this several times, but the ungodly connection/agreement
will not be made if we will persevere in this.
If we will take it one step further, we can have complete
victory at defeating that enemy; find the scripture that is opposite to what
the thought was and speak it out of our mouths.
In that, we are wielding the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of
God. That is our only offensive weapon
in the armor God gives us, (Eph. 6:17). If we will wield that sword it is the only offensive weapon we need to destroy the attacking enemy!
For instance:
Thought: You will
never make it; you can’t do this.
Word of Truth: I am
not in agreement with that. I can do all
things through Christ who strengthens me.
Thought: Your wife
doesn’t love you.
Word of Truth: I am
not in agreement with that. I am my
beloveds and she is mine.
Thought: You’re going
to die.
Word of Truth: I am
not in agreement with that. I will live
and not die and declare the works of the Lord.
Thought: You are
alone.
Word of Truth: I am
not in agreement with that. The Lord
will never leave nor forsake me.
Thought: You are
always going to be sick.
Word of Truth: I am
not in agreement with that. By Jesus’
stripes, I am healed.
This two step simple process will defeat the enemy’s attempt
to poison your mind and life. Fight the
good fight of faith and shoo him away from the battlefield which belongs to
Your Lord and you…your mind! Don’t agree
with your adversary the liar; agree with God who is Truth! You have the mind of Christ! Amen!
