Waking up a bit later than usual, I shuffle downstairs
making my way through a myriad of toys deposited by dogs and grandkids. My goal is to head straight to my first cup
of much needed coffee. I smile as I see
my sweet husband has already finished the prep work of putting just the right
amount of creamer in my favorite mug which sits on the counter-top along with the
Keurig canister filled with my preferred brand of coffee. I place the lovingly arranged
container into the brewer and wait for what seems longer than it really is, until
I can have that first sip and emit my ritualistic morning, “ahhhhh”. I am now ready to greet the morning that has
already greeted me. Watching our three
precious ginger babies interact with their own morning rituals, I smile again
as I am grateful. I get to experience these
memory making moments because my beloved daughter and her beautiful family are living
with us for the interim while their house is under construction to finish up
the final touches. The dynamics of two adults
and one pup has now dramatically but favorably shifted to four adults, three
children age ranges ten to four and two dogs; one rambunctious pup less than a
year old and the other whom we lovingly refer to as “the old man”.
The kids and fur babies and I exchange some warm hugs and my heart floods with love again as I hear those sweet voices enthusiastically say, “Good morning, Nana!” Their bright smiles are enough to bring sunshine to this drizzly Saturday morning. I have to use self-discipline to not just park on the couch to continue to drink in not only my warm mug full of coffee caramel goodness but also drink in the giggles of those cherished children. So I gather up my bible, journal, prayer cards which are for specific people and prayers I declare every morning, and head back upstairs to have quiet time uninterrupted. I treasure those “interruptions”, but I have to focus in order to spend time with the One I am most grateful for, my Lord.
The kids and fur babies and I exchange some warm hugs and my heart floods with love again as I hear those sweet voices enthusiastically say, “Good morning, Nana!” Their bright smiles are enough to bring sunshine to this drizzly Saturday morning. I have to use self-discipline to not just park on the couch to continue to drink in not only my warm mug full of coffee caramel goodness but also drink in the giggles of those cherished children. So I gather up my bible, journal, prayer cards which are for specific people and prayers I declare every morning, and head back upstairs to have quiet time uninterrupted. I treasure those “interruptions”, but I have to focus in order to spend time with the One I am most grateful for, my Lord.
To truly enter into His presence, I find anointed music, coming from the hearts of those who likewise are in love with Jesus, and in so doing I am taken straight into the throne room of grace and peace. There is power in that place and if I go and give my heart with total abandon, I receive far more than I give. I don’t understand why we get so much in return for so little, but I don’t question the goodness of our God.
As I am listening and even quietly singing along with my raspy, morning voice only a father could love, I begin to hear the words from a familiar song, only this time they leap into my heart with a force not typical for when I have heard it in the past. I sharpen my focus as I recognize this is a manner in which my Father speaks to me as He is choosing to impart a fresh revelation.
Sinking Deep by Hillsong Young & Free
Standing here in Your presence
In a grace so relentless
I am won
By perfect love
Wrapped within the arms of heaven
In a peace that lasts forever
Sinking deep
In mercy's sea
CHORUS
I'm wide awake
Drawing close
Stirred by grace
All my heart is Yours
All fear removed
I breathe You in
I lean into Your love
Your love
VERSE
When I'm lost You pursue me
Lift my head to see Your glory
Lord of all
So beautiful
Here in You I find shelter
Captivated by the splendor
Of Your face
My secret place
BRIDGE
Your love so deep
Is washing over me
Your face is all I seek
You are my everything
Jesus Christ
You are my one desire
Lord hear my only cry
To know You all my life
I connect with this song in what I experience with this intimate time of sharing hearts with Jesus, but in particular, the words of the Bridge impact me profoundly. I realize as I hear the words, “Jesus Christ, You are my ONE DESIRE” that I relate but also feel slightly troubled. I try to process the quandaries my heart and mind have with that statement and I finally go to Him. With full disclosure of that which was hidden, I pour out my heart and put words to what has now been exposed.
So I state, “Lord, I know my love for You has matured to a place I now truly love You above all others. To my surprise, I discovered that in finally making You my first love, my love for all others has deepened and is more meaningful. But when I hear you are my ONE desire, I have to confess, I deeply desire others in addition to You.” I wait in the quiet as I sense that with this morning’s revelation I am soon to obtain the answer, with no guilt or fear, knowing I am not angering my kind Lord who loves to reveal mysteries to us when we go to that undisturbed place with Him.
I begin to ponder that He is all and in all. (Colossians 3:11) He doesn’t just love us but He IS love. (1 John 4:8) His presence cannot be contained as He fills the heavens and the Earth. (Jeremiah 23:24) All things belong to Him. (Hebrews 2:10) These separate scriptures began to string together to form the answer to how I could still have Him be my ONE desire, yet still desire others and other things!
With revelation as a light bulb illuminating my mind, I arrived at this: He is part of every relationship I have; He is in and owns the material things He wants to bless me with; He is everywhere I go; and as I love or am loved, it is Him in action with the most powerful aspect of His nature. So even though these people or things may seem separate, they are all interwoven in the fabric of Him and the multifaceted endless person of His being. In seeing these other treasures in my life, I am seeing Him. In experiencing the beauty of other people, places or things, I am seeing His beauty. In deeply loving others or being loved by them, it His love I am giving and receiving.
I am grateful for this new freedom in Him to truly enjoy richly everything He has given us. (1 Timothy 6:17) I think sometimes we get so caught up in distress that we are trespassing some religious boundary so we can’t fully enjoy people or things for fear of them becoming an idol. The only way that can happen is if we forget the realization of Who gave us everything we have; if we dismiss Him when we are loving others or receiving that love; if we aren’t thankful for what He has given us but just take relationships or things for granted; if we aren’t mindful of Him in all these people and things, then we are in danger of making that person or thing an idol. But if we filter all things through Him first, just like that morning cup of coffee dripping through the container of what held the grounds that created that delicious cup of coffee for me, then we will be able to truly enjoy this gift of life He has given us in Him, the One who is Life. (John 14:6)
