This is not how I thought I would begin this Blog, "Kisses from God", but as I am reflecting on this Father’s Day about all the wonderful fathers I know, it seemed most appropriate to begin my blogging experience with the most amazing father I know; my Father in heaven.
I am eternally grateful for the LIFE my Father has given me, even more than the life my earthly father gave me. The most perfect gift my Father in heaven gave me was the gift of His Son, Jesus. What a sacrifice Father made on my behalf, (and that of everyone ever on the face of the earth); He gave me His Son. I got a very, slight glimpse of what that felt like for Him one day when my own precious son was playing the part of Jesus in a little play at our church. He was behind a white, bed sheet with a bright light shining through so all we in the audience could see was his black silhouette. He was hanging on a cross which he was actually tied on but we couldn’t see all the props. I watched with surprising and mounting horror as he took his last breath and hung his head as if in death. I was overwhelmed with the emotion of that moment. Even though it was completely staged I still could not bear to watch any more. Even writing this out at this moment takes me back to my emotion of grief and I am tearing up! I am “verklempt,” which is a private joke between myself and my children as I always text them that I am verklempt from the beauty of so many moments they share of themselves and their sweet families.
So I want to give Father the glory He is due on this Father’s Day. Thank You, my Daddy God! I love and adore you and am so grateful for the many gifts You have given and will give me. I am so grateful You are my eternal Father and so grateful for the many ways You continue to show me You: through Your Son, Jesus; through Your Word; through other people You place in my life; through the experiences You give; and the path You lead me. Thank You for giving us a model to look up to…You…when we need to know how to behave, think, and speak. Thank You for Your grace and mercy that You don’t punish me as I deserve, but do administer the correction I need to help me become more like You. Thank You for Your holiness, and that even though I don’t carry it all out perfectly in my own living, that You consider that I am holy because of what You have done in me. Thank You for picking me up when I fall. Thank You for Your amazing, perfect love of which I can only partially understand through the love and adoration I have of my own children. I could not live without You, and apart from You my efforts are totally vain. I love You, Daddy, with all my heart, soul, strength, mind, and body. Everything I am and have, I give to You.
Next, I would like to reflect on the father of my children. Although we are not together as husband and wife any longer, I still would like to honor him as the father of my children. His parenting may not have been perfect, and neither was mine. I believe he did the very best he could do with how he was equipped at the time. Ultimately, unless we are born again, we will not be giving our children the best gift available, which is the knowledge of the Lord. We are to train up our children in the way they should go so when they are old they won’t depart from it. This means we must show them God and teach them His Word. Unfortunately, throughout our children’s childhood, their father was not saved. He was a good man, however, and provided the best of his ability. We can’t expect someone to give something they don’t have themselves and so teaching them about God was not going to be a possibility until he received his salvation himself and traveled down the road of learning of Him. Our children would cry out to God in prayer, as would I, to save their father. Well, I am most happy to report that those prayers were heard and answered! Their father received his salvation! What a beautiful gift to give to his children…the knowledge that their father is born again and will be with all of us forever and ever! In his humbling of himself to receive the perfect gift of Life from his Savior, he is on a new journey which manifests itself in giving of himself. I am seeing and hearing of lovely times he spends with his children and their families. Our grandchildren adore their PawPaw who frequently babysits, giving them exceptional care. I admit to being sad that our family broke, but I praise God that we are healing and learning to accept the new family as it now stands. Family is not just created by blood and marriage. It is formed through relationship. Such was the case when Jesus was hanging on the cross and looked down with concern for His own mother. He looked at His mother and said “This is your son” speaking of the man standing next to her and then looked at the “disciple He loved” and said, “This is your mother.” When we surrender to the Lord’s will, He will place us with the family we should be a part of even if we are not initially thrilled or in agreement with the idea. Those families and situations will be imperfect, but part of our “perfection process” will manifest in our learning to become “family.” Thank You Lord, for giving me the path of family I shared with this man.
Next I would like to honor my own father, who has gone home to be with the Lord. I didn’t get to truly know or understand him until I was in college. Our family was broken also, and I was a child of an alcoholic and divorce. I watched with admiration, however, as my father admitted to his share of the destruction he gave way to not only in his own life but that of his family. He turned to the one and only Source which could bring deliverance from brokenness and healing to his wounds. I watched his own journey of learning of His Savior and receiving of the mercy offered by His hand. I watched him relate to another woman in ways enviable and which made me want that same type of loving relationship for my own life. I watched a man who had weak moments but knew how to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. I watched my father grow wise and was blessed to receive of that wisdom in my own life which I could then reciprocate to my own children. I have forgiven him for succumbing to cancer and for not, in my opinion, fighting hard enough to stay with me. As I write this I have to stop and battle with tears, as a fresh wave of grief over the loss of my father still has occasion to sweep over me. Quality time with my dad was too short, and I truly wish I could physically see him and share the beautiful road I am now on currently. There are answers to some of my questions about that loss which still bear on my soul for which I will have to wait. There will come a time for us all when knowledge will be perfect. For now, we know only in part. I am grateful for the knowledge I do possess, but must trust God with my whole heart and lean not on my own understanding for the parts I will not know in this life. Thank You, Father God, for giving me the father here on earth whom you gave me. I am grateful for each part of my life that was impacted and affected by him, good or bad, as that helped me become who I am today. I am grateful to know the love he held in his heart for me.
I would now like to honor my son and son-in-law. I have been blessed beyond words with the pure joy of watching them become fathers and practice fathering. I say practice because that’s what it truly is. We just aren’t perfect experts with our own children as each child and circumstance requires a fresh need for wisdom. It’s on the job training for parents and we learn as we go. We learn through trial and error, hoping and praying for the best and then praying for God to fix our mistakes. I observe both of these amazing young men perform some of the best parenting I have had the pleasure to witness. It is nothing short of incredible how full my heart feels when I watch them father their own children. They are both very masculine “men”. I call them mighty men of valor. They are brave and will confront what needs to be confronted. But they are the perfect blend of affectionate as well. I remember the pediatrician’s words as my son-in-law expressed his concern over how many kisses he gave his first-born child; as it was breaking his baby’s skin out with a bit of a rash. She told him it would hurt his baby much more if he withheld those kisses! I love watching how both fathers, oftentimes, lavish their precious babies and children with near smothering kisses. Those babies squeal with delight over their daddy’s kisses and joy absolutely radiates on their sweet faces. Those children are secure in their father’s love and adoration for them. I commend my son and son-in-law for not caring what society thinks or the latest baby book! They do what’s right for their children and it shows in the contentment and happiness which lights up their children’s countenance. I love watching that both young men understand that being a provider does not just mean bringing home a paycheck. They understand that they are likewise to provide a spiritual covering, that they are to provide wisdom which comes from above which they receive from their Father in heaven, that they are to provide emotional security for their families, that they are to provide help to their wives so their wives are not overcome with burden from having to carry loads they were never meant to carry. I love both of these men. I look upon them with great pride and gratitude for the care and blessings they bring to their children, (and all of us who are blessed to be in meaningful relationship with them.) Thank You, Father, for blessing me on a continual basis through these two men. I learn what I consider “gold” from them!
Finally, I would like to give honor to the man I have observed the least in his parenting, but for whom God has opened the eyes of my heart to quickly know him intimately. This is the beautiful human being I am so very blessed to have married. God has peeled back the curtain which could hide anything about his heart and I feel like it is open and exposed very tenderly and trustingly to me, as his wife. I am blessed to watch a man who deeply loves the Lord, seeking Him with his whole heart, truly wanting to follow hard after Him in trusting obedience. He understands the most important gift he can give his sons is to know God. He understands how important his covering of prayer is over them. He knows his authority and weapons to use in the Lord to fight for his family. He fully understands that his family is a true gift from God and he treasures that gift. I am grateful to get to observe his parenting with a firm but gentle hand, demonstrating endless patience for which I am in awe. I listen with tears, (yes he makes me verklempt as well), as he tells with animation of the days while changing his babies’ diapers, and he would confess scripture over them, singing to them, dedicating them wholly unto the Lord. I am watching those prayers and Godly confessions manifest in his sons’ lives. They are amazing young men; fruit of a father’s bended knee and time in a secret prayer closet. I see the ache in his heart as he watches them growing into the process of leaving him. I see the tears he sheds in pure worship of his God, knowing that this well spent time makes him likewise in the ranks of mighty men of valor. He indeed is a strong MAN, worthy of my respect. I learn much from him and cherish our days together which will be forever. I adore this man, the love of my life, my Godly husband, who is the closest “Jesus incarnate” here on earth which I get to experience on a daily basis. I give blessed thanks to my Lord who was perfect in His road which led me to this man, my love, my Kurt.
This Father’s Day has been one of shedding tears; tears of joy over the gifts given from wonderful fathers, tears of grief over what was lost in losing fathers in my life, and tears of gratitude for the wonderful fathers I still get to have in my life.
To close, I would like to share this video I came across today as I searched YouTube for a Father’s Day video. It says all we need to say about our dear fathers who are created in the very image of God. We see God in their eyes.
No comments:
Post a Comment