Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say, rejoice!

Sometimes, when you hear those words, does it make you feel a bit worse …maybe just a little?  When our circumstances are not going the way we want and it seems like at the very core of our being, something is just missing, it can give us the sense that we are grieving or mourning over something that feels like loss.  I have been battling with this myself with a weight that feels heavier on my heart than the most cumbersome of pounds I have ever lifted in the gym.

The Lord promises to be near those who are hurting and right now I am hurting.  I can’t say I’m surprised at my pain, however.  I was fully warned by God this was coming.  In His graciousness, God will often prepare our hearts of a coming storm, test, trial.  He does this out of love because a heart prepared has time to get built up in Him so that we may face the storm head on and not shrink back in fear as we tend to do when we are confronted with the unknown.  I must admit though, I almost always feel that immediate, “Oh no…I don’t want to do this…” feeling of dread when the Lord opens up an obscurity to the future for me to see.  I know I have to quickly adjust and realize dread is a form of fear and is therefore not from Him.  Dread or fear can not be a part of what God is trying to do in showing us the future or we will not prosper in the very thing He is trying to accomplish in our lives.

This latest journey which has exposed my weakness yet revealed His strength in us has been quite a trial which truly began when I met the man I know was a gift from the Lord.  For the entire time I have known my precious husband I have seen a man of God who truly has a heart to hear from God in a powerful way and who has longed to be humbled under His mighty hand.  I have witnessed this man tolerate deplorable working conditions created by a spirit of intimidation, bullying, and abusive criticism.  Kurt would just man up and refuse to let it defeat him, but as the day after day assaults continued, it was taking a toll.  I sensed the Lord was saying, “Thus far and no more.”  What impacts my husband does me as well, and as a couple being one in the Lord, we sought the Lord earnestly for clarification.  We believed we were seeing the Lord working a new beginning in our lives and He was moving us on.  Grace is sufficient to maintain us in difficult, trying times, but when God says, “You are finished here,” yet we stay in that place, we are choosing to camp where God is no longer sustaining us.  Just as in the days of the wilderness with the children of Israel, He led them with His glory, physically seen in a cloud by day and fire by night.  They could clearly see when He camped in a place and when He was ready to advance.  If they stayed once He began to move, they would be doing so without the Lord’s leading any longer.  God forbid we do that regardless of how difficult the move.

With a sense we truly were finished in that place of bondage and that if we were willing to take a huge risk, the Lord would actually lead us out of our “Egypt” into freedom, we chose to dive off the cliff of faith and trust God.  Upon that decision, one day while we were worshiping the Lord together, I saw a vision that was staged like a Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner cartoon.  From my vantage point, I could see a cliff ahead of me which looked just like the ones the coyote would dart towards only to find himself suspended in mid air realizing he had gone too far.  I could then see a cartoon caricature of Kurt and me.  We were smiling as we gazed at each other with confident looks which fearlessly stated, “Let’s do this!”  We began to run, hand in hand, toward the cliff’s edge.  Just like the unfortunate Wile E., however, we too found ourselves off the security of the ground and suspended in mid air.  Our beaming changed to expressions of wide eyed surprise as we realized in the vision that we had now gone past the point where we could turn back.  Just like that coyote that drops to the depths of what lies below, we were hurled downward, out of my view.  (Interesting that “wile” means to manipulate and do what you want; your will.  In jumping off the cliff, we were making the statement, “Not our (wile) will, but Yours, Lord.” ) I was now looking at the cliff’s edge as when the vision began.  I felt that familiar sense of dread at the realization this vision was telling me that we were going to experience some difficult times in this test of faith that would make us question if we have made the right decision.  As quickly as those fearful thoughts flashed through my mind, so came quickly the next scene in the vision.  Instead of just a vacant cliff’s edge, I could now see the tops of both of our heads; smiles illuminating our cartoon faces.  Then I could see our torsos, then our complete beings.  To my delight, as I watched the vision draw to a close I saw how we were being lifted up.  We were both securely standing in the palm of a mighty hand; balanced to perfection.  I knew it was the magnificent hand of God who not only was lifting us up into a new realm of freedom, but which had sustained us in our fall all along.  I couldn’t witness this rescue, safety, preservation, with my limited viewpoint of what was going on, but I knew in my heart that God would not only take care of us but would transform us in the process.  All He was asking is that we jump and trust Him.  I knew He was letting us know there would come a time after the launch by faith, that we would hit hard times and wonder, “What have we done!”  Just like the vision, however, I KNOW that God has, will and will continue to sustain and provide.

Has everything been great since we launched?  No.  It has been difficult, but we have not had to give up anything of true value.  We have had some miracles of provision, such as money coming out of unexpected sources.  In our efforts to downsize, we have actually had some very powerful times in the Lord.  One such night when trying to navigate the cableless TV, out of our frustration at not being able to find anything we liked to watch, we settled for the movie, “One Night with the King.”  Sensing that movie had a few things which were not actually scriptural but perhaps had a bit of liberty taken, we both had a great desire to read the entire book of Ester.  Although we believe some minor points in the movie were corrected through our study, something of much more value occurred.  We had a wonderland of revelation open up to us as the Holy Spirit poured over us showing us mysteries written into that book of the Bible.  We could see truths about God and His nature of Love, authority, and much more than we had known before.  Both Kurt and I wanted to keep reading and communing with the Lord as our Revealer of mysteries and our hearts soared to a heightened joy in the Lord.  Nothing like a good book before bedtime to give you sweet dreams!

I believe in reality, we are at the point in the vision where I saw the heads of us both.  We are receiving revelation, a new mindset, speaking forth God’s word and believing that He will perform His word.  There are things about our memories, emotions, prior experiences of which we still need to be healed.  Healing, deliverance, growth and training occur from glory to glory, line upon line, precept upon precept.  It’s an ongoing process, but one which if we will yield and endure it, we will be perfect and entire, lacking nothing.  James 1:4

There are relationships and circumstances which we believe God has shown are not to hold us in this place.  We are observing God breaking the ties so that in His timing we will be able to move on to the next phase.  However, in the waiting for God to open the doors that no man can close and close the doors that no man can open, comes the temptation to be frustrated.  Frustration is a sign we are operating in pride, outside of the trust we should hold in the Lord to be the Keeper of all our times.  As grief over missing my family in Missouri mingles with the frustration of waiting to move there, I am trying to hold onto rejoicing in the moments of each gift of a day God has given us.  Some days, it is just a faith confession to be joyful, as my emotions are not lining up in agreement to what my heart knows is best.  Ultimately, I know that I would not want to be anywhere at anytime without the leading of the glory of the Lord going before me, no matter how much my emotions express their will. So we wait; working leads in every direction to allow the Lord to open the doors of the opportunity He wants us to take hold of.  I CHOOSE to rejoice in the Lord even when it is a sacrifice of praise; when it’s not easy to do.  I know He is close to those who are hurting, and He understands our weaknesses, being touched by our humanness. Hebrews 4:15

Be blessed!

3-25-13 Woo Hoo!  This post was initially written Saturday, March 23rd.  Today, while my sweet hubby was making us a delicious brunch with eggs, he looked at the egg carton and across the top is said,  "This is the Day which the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.  Psalms 118:24"

It's so reassuring how the Lord takes time to confirm the Words He is speaking to our hearts.  This truly is the time we are in; it's a time to rejoice in the Lord regardless of our situations.  This honors the Lord when even though we are not happy with our circumstances we can still find the deep inner joy in who our God is!

After posting this egg carton image just now, a phone call happened in which our Rainbow Vacuum cleaner that we had advertized on Craig's List sold, giving us the money we needed to pay bills this week which we were just looking over and needed Him to move on our behalf!  It sold to a Christian couple we've never met who saw the ad, prayed about it and felt the Lord wanted them to buy it.  The amazing thing is how this all played out and the timing of it all.  I initially placed the ad a couple of months ago, but unbeknownst to me, it had expired.  A friend inquired as to what we were selling if for which caused me to look at the ad, thereby discovering it had expired and was no longer posted.  I reposted the ad and within minutes, we got a call of inquiry from the couple who bought it today.  The Lord truly is our Provider and Source.