Wednesday, September 25, 2013

A Terrifying Journey: Our current Season






God led me to this amazing video of base jumping in wing suits today while spending time with Him.  I have been craving intimacy with Him yet I have been remiss in my busyness to take the precious time with Him I need.  This video expresses quite well the terror/excitement I am experiencing in this season as He has compelled Kurt and me to take flight as well, only in a spiritual sense instead of the natural.  As terrifying as it is to completely let go and fly in absolute trust of the Lord when He is compelling you to take a tremendous leap of faith, it is at the same time a thrill which few are willing to take.  We naturally want excitement, but not at the expense of giving up more of our comfort level than that of which we are “comfortable”!  We want to take off into realms unknown while standing squarely on the ground giving us sure footing, which is in fact, unattainable.

The details of what we are specifically dealing with in our move to Missouri basically seem to be creating an impossible situation which seems to be getting even more impossible, if impossible can become more impossible.  :)  For our protection in knowing we are going the right direction, however, God in His mercy, is closing all doors to which we could be tempted to either retreat or enter wrongfully.  Our true hearts’ desire is to be in the right place at the right time.  

Sometimes a strange thing happens once you abandon the known to walk in the supernatural; the unseen forces which operate in this earth begin to oppose you making things seem like you are now out of the will of God.  I’m so grateful that in my cluelessness, God knows exactly what He is doing and understands how much to allow things to heat up.  He knows how to work it all out for good.  I noticed in the video those aerobic thrill seekers looked like they were going to crash any moment into the edge of the rocky cliffs…but they never did, they just kept flying!  They were confidently defying the gravity that wants to keep us grounded.  They were obviously in full trust they were navigating the course correctly.  

This is where my husband and I are.  Even though adrenalin bursts as if in a fight or flight situation as risk factors increase, we know we are soaring in complete trust in our God.  He is big enough to correct our course if we are not hearing correctly.  The Lord once told me, “I cannot move a docked ship into the right direction.  You must move!  Even if in the wrong direction, I can steer you in the right one.  Don’t let fear of making a mistake paralyze you and cause you to miss My best for you.”

Last Friday, some very bad news came to us and we had all but given up, thinking that unless God brought something to open the way that day, we were finished with the course we were so desperately fighting to maintain.  Late that afternoon, we got a call that brought us a renewed sense of hope that we were to proceed.  In recognizing the multitude of fears we were facing, through tears which blurred my natural vision, I could clearly see the main fear I was facing.  I had to admit, I was afraid of looking foolish to others.  We have boldly proclaimed our faith journey before us to any ears among us!  We have confessed the outcome as we believe God has shown us…but what if we’re wrong?  What if this whole thing doesn’t turn out well for us after all?  Oh God…how I HATE the torture doubt brings…

God woke my husband and me up Sunday, in the wee hours of 3:00-4:00 am which seem to be the Lord’s favorite time to call me to attention!  I knew Kurt was lying there awake as well but neither one spoke.  We were each contemplating the move God has placed before us to which we said, “Yes, we will go,” but to which nothing has seemed to be simple or conventional to orchestrate.  Returning to my beloved family is easy on my soul and welcomed with open arms by us both, but the circumstances to do so have been nothing short of terrifying.  God has purposefully denied us having any sure footing in this move.  

That morning as I lay awake, the Lord began to speak to me with pictures forming in my mind of Peter and the other disciples from Matthew 14.  Jesus had just sent the multitudes away and HE PUT THE DISCIPLES IN THE BOAT; then He left!  A storm arose and they were starting to freak out.  They were in the middle of the sea…too far out to turn back.  It was somewhere between 3 and 6 am when they saw a figure moving on the surface of the water.  They thought it was apparition which was a superstitious sign and was particularly such to sailors as they believed that manifestation to be a sign of certain shipwreck.  Immediately Jesus spoke to them and told them to be of good cheer and not to be afraid!  We, like Peter, continually want the Lord to identify Himself and therefore, Peter’s answer to the Lord was that if this truly was the Lord, then he wanted to perform a supernatural event.  He specifically asked the WORD (Jesus) to COMMAND him to come and supernaturally walk with Him.  (In God's mercy, He “kissed” us with confirmation that we have heard His voice with that very message and scripture being taught on a podcast of a sermon we watched a few hours later.)

Asking to walk in the supernatural is exactly what Kurt’s heart has yearned for and of which he has been seeking the Lord.  I have asked that very thing for a couple of decades now and have experienced it many times.  As a couple, we have asked God to show us His supernatural side, no longer satisfied with the doctrines and traditions of men.  We too want to walk on the water with our focus on the Lord alone.  

The Lord reminded Kurt that if we indeed wish to see His supernatural works, we must be placed in situations where it takes a supernatural event to save us!  This supernatural positioning puts us so far out there, there is no turning back, there is no protection from “perishing” except from the Lord’s provision, and there are no resources we can use to find sure footing to hold us up other than the Word Himself.  It’s a place that will be challenged by everything around us as the very elements themselves seem to oppose what God has set into motion.  

Our focus determines our success to walk this walk.  As long as we focus on Jesus, we can do all things through Him, but if our focus turns instead to the storms around us, we will surely sink.  To help me in this, I use my creative imagination whenever I am afraid and “see” His face right in front of mine, as if in an embrace.  His loving eyes so near to mine block out whatever is going on around me and I feel the fear begin to fade.  The more fear attacking, the closer I picture Him to me as if it is His very breath I am inhaling.  I must admit this latest season has caused me to feel at times like we are sinking and that the events which have begun to unfold were a sign of shipwreck as we still continue to deal with the “storms” which persist to come against us.  However, He promised to never leave us so I KNOW He’s there whether He’s talking or choosing to be silent.  If I get weak and look to the storms instead of Him, I know as with Peter, He is with me.  He immediately saves me and I do not perish in that thing of which I am battling.  He stretches out His hands and catches me!  He is merciful and faithful even though I don’t deserve it.

Our “boat” of which God has placed us is that we are leaving all security behind and going to a place Kurt does not know.  We don’t have resources to uphold us.  It will be the Lord alone who will connect us to the right people and circumstances as we start over.  It will be the Lord who provides our housing and meets our every need. 

We were made to fly, not in the natural, but we have been given spiritual wings to fly once we accept Jesus as our Savior.  He placed that inherently in us which is why our hearts soar with dreams and excitement over the endless possibilities before us.  He wants us to leave the sure footing of our resources and wildly abandon ourselves in full trust of Him and FLY!  We must ascend in the trust that He knows what He’s doing.  His ways are higher than ours, which means sometimes our minds will be void of understanding although deep within the recesses of our inner most being, we will have a sense of sure footedness, being grounded in Him.

Chickens peck on the fenced-in ground being completely focused on what is right in front of them and what is readily available to them in their effort to supply their needs; while eagles soar on unseen winds with no boundaries to hold them in.  I truly believe God is awakening His Body to a new level of trust in Him to soar.  He wants to bless us with more of Him.  I am watching Him launch all of my family members and some friends and acquaintances into their own “boats” of higher levels of trust.  He has commissioned several I know besides us to commence on an “Abrahamic” journey…leaving all behind and going to a place they do not know…but they will know when they get there, Genesis 12:1-4.  

Blessings to you as you refuse to allow fear to have its way with you and you choose to walk on the water!

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