Peace Out!

Photo from my daughter's photography business-Glory Photography.

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I was initially going to write this post about peace in June, but honestly, things kept stealing my peace so I was in no frame of mind to do it.  How can someone write about peace to help others obtain and keep it when I lose my cool over silly things like a driver who hits his breaks when approaching an intersection with a green light?  (GO!!! IT’S GREEN NOT YELLOW!!! YOU IDIOT!!! YOU DON’T YIELD ON GREEN!!!  And yes, I’m indicating yelling with my all caps and multiple exclamation points!!!)  

How can I possibly tell you about peace when I freak out with Customer Service of a company that has screwed up their agreement with me?  I get tested every time by having to speak to someone in a foreign country who doesn’t understand me very well, and I surely can’t understand their thick dialect!  I escalate quickly over outsourcing to someone who isn’t going to quickly fix my problem.

Do I have the right to talk with you about how you too can obtain peace in three easy steps when I lose mine so easily over my husband not tuning into me perfectly?  He should at every moment consider everything I have to say to him as the most important thing he ever heard!  (I really do take issue with the “male selective hearing” but that’s another post!  :)  )

There is definitely a pattern described in the above incidents.  Those situations that I was letting steal my peace are all small and insignificant in the whole scheme of things.  As my daddy used to tell me over and over; and now I see with good reason, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”  I sometimes still do though and in seeking the Lord about why I do that, I feel He has shown me something most of us probably suffer.  He showed me that when I am frustrated or have unresolved anger, those types of situations cost me my peace very quickly and easily.  

My next question is, what am I angry or frustrated about?  I now have an amazing husband who although not perfect, he gives me the life in marriage I always dreamed of.  I feel so emotionally satisfied in that he is making effort to “hear” me and effectively communicate with me.  Even though we sometimes fail at those attempts, we keep trying.  He is my supportive companion and truly connected to me in spirit, soul and body.  I am a blessed woman in marriage which was always something I deeply wanted.  

I am also a very proud mother and grandmother of absolutely beautiful children, (I always consider my son and daughter in-law-kids as my own kids who likewise make me so incredibly blessed in who they are and how they are with my children and grandchildren.)  They all give me such a sense of satisfaction and pride along with delighting my heart and soul in unmeasureable ways.  I have no doubt in the love of my family for me and I certainly love them with all my heart.  

Most importantly, I have the love, adoration, delight, care and attention of my daddy God; my lovely Savior Jesus who has given me everything; and my sweet friend and helpmate, Holy Spirit.  That alone should be enough to make me so content and happy.  What then, is my problem?  Why is it so easy to cast off the precious gift of peace that the Lord, who is the Prince of Peace, has given me?  

Could it be that in living in this fallen world, with its trials and tribulations, I feel like I have not had enough of the things manifest in my life that I am holding out my faith for?  Perhaps I have been seeking God for answers about things for such a long time now, that in my opinion, enough is enough, and now I feel like God is holding out on me.  Instead of enduring and trusting God that His timing is perfect and just honoring Him with my patient pursuit of Him instead of constant frustration over what I don’t have, I instead lose my cool and let my peace go by the wayside only to have to go after it once again.  Then, lets add guilt in the mix to that because what the heck do I have to feel “cheated” about when I just told you what a blessed woman I am and how amazing my Lord is in giving me LIFE?

One day a couple of months ago, God gave me a clear picture of this predicament.  I was following my husband in my vehicle as he was driving his own and leading me through an area of town I was uncomfortable and not familiar enough to just go by myself.  We had stopped at a red light.  I patiently waited and the light turned green.  However, the line of traffic remained steadfast.  I patiently waited for what I consider enough time for the realization to set in that “Hey…you up there in front of everyone…get off your phone and realize you need to move!”  Still no movement, so I gave my horn a quick “Hey buddy, you need to go” tap.  To my mounting frustration, there was still no movement.  I honked ever so slightly longer, with a little more determination, but to no avail.  Being totally exasperated, I now lay on my horn!  I saw my sweet hubby look in his rear view mirror at me and frankly, couldn’t understand why he hadn’t taken the lead in the honking brigade.  He just sat there as well, as if oblivious to the green light!  Traffic finally began to move and wind to the right as the traffic light is located on a curve.  As I rounded the corner, I could see what the holdup had been attributed to.  In the middle of the road was a fire truck that needed to get into a specific area and therefore needed to stop traffic until it could maneuver into position.  From my vantage point, I was limited in my capability to see what all was up ahead of me.  

I immediately thought of the prophet Balaam, in the Old Testament, whose donkey wouldn’t move forward like Balaam wanted him to because he had the capability to see into the spirit realm and could see danger ahead.  The donkey’s refusal to budge actually resulted in saving Balaam’s life, even though Balaam was very impatient and thought about destroying the donkey.  Balaam was the true ass in that story…as was I!  I felt so convicted of my impatience and lack of trust that God can see all things and knows best in His supreme wisdom.   I am short sighted in my humanness and know only in part.  

“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  But let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”  (James 1:2-4 NASV and AKJV)

Peace due to trust in God is my gift from Him to help me get through those times of waiting.  Seeking peace is more important than seeking my answer.  When I go too far in seeking my answer to something, I will know it because I will lose my peace and get frustrated, angry, anxious, bitter, or confused.  In that, I am in pride as I want to override God’s timing and ways.  I have therefore removed myself from His grace which helped me when I humbly trusted Him.  This all demonstrates that I have become focused on the problem/solution instead of God and have become impatient.  

 “For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it may tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.”  (Habakkuk 2:3)

The Bible tells us “Let the peace of God rule your heart, acting as an umpire; deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your mind.” (Collisions 3:15 Amplified Bible)  Just as with ballgames, and the umpire is the person charged with officiating the game, so are we to let peace make the calls for our lives.  

How do we know if we have peace?  What if we don’t feel like we have any peace because our heads are a mess with thoughts, fears, conflicting opinions, etc?  Where is our peace?  

First of all…be still…be quiet.  Settle down your mind and emotions and perhaps even your body.  Take some deep breaths, (breathe in for 4 seconds, and hold for 7, exhale for 8 seconds.  Repeat a few times until you feel a sense of calm.  You can Google “4 7 8 breathing” to get more specific information.)  

Your spirit, where the Holy Spirit resides in Christians, is in your belly; “Out of your belly flows rivers of living water,” John 7:38.  That’s why we say, “gut feeling.”  It’s that place deep in your gut, also called your “heart”, not your head with all its “change-by-moment” emotions and reasonings.  It’s the place that even if your head is saying one thing, your heart can say another.  It’s the place of “knowing.”  You just know…  We’ve all experienced a time when we overrode what our heart was telling us, then suffered the consequences of that disobedience.  We thought, “Dang!  I KNEW better!”  Listen to this deep place inside your heart and refuse to let your thoughts or emotions rule.

 

Some reading this post may have to Google what a Polaroid Instamatic camera is to help you understand this next analogy.  A Polaroid operated by pointing the camera at your subject, clicking the button and out would shoot a blank, square sheet of plastic.  As you watched, patiently, that plastic would instantly begin developing the subject of which you just focused your camera.  It would take a couple of minutes and then you would have the complete image developed before your very eyes!  This is how our spiritual focus works as well.  Whatever we focus our attention on, that is what will develop in our lives.  That’s why God gives us choices and tells us the right way to focus, because He wants only the best to manifest in our lives.  

If we keep our focus on the Lord, He will keep us in perfect peace.  There are times when I am so tempted to freak out, that I then have to picture myself like a horse with blinders on.  I cup my hands on both sides of my face and picture His lovely face directly in front of mine, so close it blocks out everything else.  I focus on keeping my eyes straight on Him and not looking to the right or left at all the things that are vying for my attention.  Those distractions are being used not only to get me off track but cause me to give up my peace.  If I have on the full armor of God, then I also have on the part of that armor that I need to walk successfully in this life.  I’m speaking of those lovely shoes of peace which are more beautiful than any pair of hot, six inch stilettos I have in my closet!  Those shoes of peace help me continue to move forward, with each purposeful step.  Just as I have to choose to take each step I take, I also have to be purposeful to stay in peace.  It is a choice.  I can choose to keep my peace or I can choose to let it go and blow up, freak out, get in fear, get frustrated, cuss, or whatever other method I choose to be in the stead of peace.

I once had a dream in which I was underwater on my side.  I was struggling ferociously with trying to breathe.  I was gasping with eyes closed and fighting through the water to just try to breathe and come to a place of rest.  I opened my eyes and could see a man floating quietly alongside me.  He was likewise on his side and watching me but not interfering or trying to assist.  He was just waiting.  I began to be more focused on Him instead of my struggle and instantly a sense of peace and calm washed over me.  Although still under water, I realized I had begun to breathe rhythmically and deeply.  Once under the influence of peace, He and I began to swim together, side by side, stroke for stroke.  It was a spiritual water ballet of its own beauty and splendor; a communion of the dance in a way that transcended the most elegant waltz.  I know the choreographer of that lovely dance and the Life Guard who saved me from drowning in that dream was Jesus, my Lord and Savior.  I learned from that dream that if I would just surrender to Him, He will give me His peace which passes understanding which will move me through this life with all its struggles and disappointments, wounds and trials.  It’ll be ok.  I will be alright, and I will have emerged from the things that tried to steal my peace more than an overcomer in Him who loves me. 

If you are feeling like you are struggling, you are going counter to the peace the Lord is trying to give you.  Tell yourself, “STOP!”  It’s time to draw back, get quiet and focus on Him.  

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

K.I.S.S.

One day in 1996, going about my daily routine yet interrupting my thoughts, was a gentle whisper of the word, “KISS.” I just kept hearing the word, “KISS”, resonating over and over in my heart. I would see it as a banner in my mind.  Although it was softly spoken, it was loud enough to get my attention although not audible.  I have never heard the audible voice of God while awake, just in "night visions" as the Bible calls them.  We call them dreams.

I was on a new journey and the uncertainty of each new step was a test of my faith and willingness to take risks.  This was a road I started to walk when I was in High School, but one in which I allowed myself to get distracted and ultimately derailed while in college.  In fact, although I loved God and thoroughly enjoyed learning His Word at youth bible studies and camps, it only took two weeks at a liberal, private college to become totally absorbed in the party scene and forget the building blocks of the new composition which was my life.  In college, I was exposed to things never to that degree before and it was thrilling!  I didn’t see it as destructive on the surface, but truly, I must admit, deep down in that very quiet place of my spirit, I KNEW it was wrong.  But I just didn’t care because it FELT good, and I seemed to be a part of something typical and certainly acceptable.  Having come from a dysfunctional family which resulted in social awkwardness and extreme low self esteem, this explosive new attention was a stroke to my damaged self concept. I was constantly asked out on dates and was nicknamed, “Date Queen” by some of my sorority sisters.  Of course, alcohol was always involved with the express purpose of lowering inhibitions, and I found myself doing something I said I would NEVER do…partake of alcohol and get drunk.  I grew up with the damage indulgence of alcohol caused and never wanted to give it an inroad into my own life.  However, once in college, I abandoned my rescue and didn’t pursue God and His Word again until much later and after much destruction resultant from bad decisions I made.

Having had enough of what I caused being my own “lord” and having made the excellent choice to hand over the reins to my life, I was now at a new point in my life, a fresh start, forgiven and picking up where I left off.  This gave me a child-like faith, trusting in the One who knows me more intimately than the best lover, I was now thrilled with the new experiences I was having in Him.  These beautiful experiences in Him did not offend my mind and body but instead succeeded in making me stronger and victorious, not weaker and defeated as my independent choices had done. I now knew enough even from this baby stage of my new journey that I needed to take heed to the constant quickening that kept whispering, “KISS”.  It was important enough to Him to interrupt my thought life with a continual tap on my mind, “KISS.”  It was time to seek wisdom from the One who is WISDOM.  What was my Lord trying to say to me?  What does KISS mean?

I began asking Him to show me.  Teach me Your Ways Lord.  Make me sensitive to Your sweet Spirit.  What do You want me to understand in this experience of hearing You say, “KISS?” 

I knew enough of the Word and had enough common sense to know that if we want something, we need to ask.  I wanted to know what He was really saying to me so I asked.  I then thoroughly expected to hear the answer as easily as I was hearing what started this quest…yet nothing happened.  I asked again, waited, nothing.  I kept asking.  In my puzzlement, I reflected back and thought I had heard someone once say that the “Ask and you will receive” scripture meant to keep asking until you get the answer; so I kept asking…and asking…hearing nothing!  Now I found myself getting a bit annoyed and wondered why the Lord would tease me this way by His repeated whisperings. I passed the stage of annoyance and quickly excelled into full blown frustration, yet I continued to hear, “KISS.”  The tone of the “KISS” I was hearing was still sweet to my soul and I knew I needed to calm my emotions of the anxiety of feeling I was going to “miss” God.  After all, I reasoned that God had good rationale for this action, which I knew was motivated by love.  I gave myself an attitude adjustment through worship of the One who is always worthy of it regardless of what we are going through at the moment.  I asked again, and didn’t hear anything deep in my gut, the heart of where we hear God’s voice, nor did I have any impression of any kind on my heart.  I decided I’d just take matters into my own hands and use what I’ve got at my disposal.  Spread out on the floor before me was my Webster’s Dictionary, thesaurus, Bibles with cross references, concordances to get exact meanings of words in Hebrew and Greek and other various tools.  I got out a notebook I decided to use to begin chronicling my experiences on this new journey and wrote the word “KISS” at the top of the first page.  This would be my project and I was going to treat it as I would have any assignment of utmost importance.  

The research began and prevailed for three solid days as I poured through books, starting out at one point and bunny trailing off to another point.  I found that frustration beginning to grow again, but I kept pressing through.  I loved God and by golly…I was going to grit my teeth, bear down and get this!   Not one thing on the page after page of research and ideas seemed to hit “home” in my spirit.  Nothing seemed to be turning on the “light bulb” of revelation where you reach that point that you just KNOW, “Yes!  That’s it!” 

I sat back having exhausted my resources and myself, and just got quiet.  I forced my mind to obey and be still.  I turned off the incessant thoughts, refused to be angry or resentful over my valiant attempt to understand yet to no avail, and just surrendered to peace.  All of a sudden, it was as if I could hear God’s laughter, not like He was laughing at me in a condescending way as there is no evil in Him, but it was if He was laughing in the way we laugh when we delight in the adorable things our children do which are precious to our hearts.  I immediately heard, “Keep It Simple, Sweetheart!”

WOW! LIGHTBULB!  Looking down at my spread of papers and books and writing utensils; I realized that was the LAST thing I had done…I took something simple, and turned it into something complicated.  This was so typical of my behavior; dive right in without much forethought and give it my all!  My Father just stepped back and let me pour myself into my way of obtaining what I wanted.  

I smiled.  Then I laughed.  I really am such a silly child sometimes, but Daddy God adores me! I realized from that moment on, that we are not to give it “our all” but seek God first, seeing how He wants us to accomplish what He gives us to do.  Sometimes we are to pour all of ourselves into something, but His GRACE IS SUFFICIENT to accomplish the task and we won’t be wearied in carrying a burden too heavy to bear.  Sometimes, He truly does have a much easier way of doing things and we just need to receive our job description from Him.  We need to do this for each task, as what worked for the last one may cause total defeat in the next one.  In this, we are not in the sin of presumption and will continue to seek our Lord instead of being reliant completely on our own resources for which we could then take full credit.  In all of this, God’s ways may be difficult at times yet truly are SIMPLE.  We have an instruction manual in the Bible, and we have an interpreter and helper in the Holy Spirit who brings revelation when we ask for the spirit of wisdom and revelation to be poured out on us, (Eph. 1:17,18; 3:16-19; Col. 1:9-12).  I prayed those very powerful prayers every night before going to bed for several years.  My husband and I still do oftentimes as part of our bedtime routine.

I relate to Peter in the Bible, the fisherman who had been fishing all night and yet caught nothing.  He was weary from his effort.  I’m sure the LAST thing Peter wanted to hear was to go fish some more and from a Carpenter at that!  The Carpenter was instructing him, a professional fisherman, in the ways he could successfully catch fish.  Nevertheless, something in Peter’s heart knew truth when he heard it and he just had to surrender.  In his obedience and humbling of himself, he succeeded in catching such a haul he couldn’t bring it all in by himself!

 KISS from God:  Keep it Simple Sweetheart!

Be still and know that I am God, Psalm 46:10.