JUST ON THE HORIZON-A VISION

Ever have one of those days when you just can’t go to church?  Your body is screaming to stay within the confines of the sheets which now feel like they are the most luxurious Pima, cotton fiber; the warmth is perfectly matched with your own body temperature; and the position you are in is one you feel you could stay in eternally without ever having to toss or turn!  Kurt and I have those times which our judges/critics would say, “too often!”  In fact, when we do go to the church we have attended together for over two years, we still get well intentioned “greeters” with extended hands zealously welcoming us to church and inviting us to fill out the “guest” card!

One Sunday, a couple of months ago, we didn’t fight the urge to purge church.  After actually seeking the Lord for His approval, we truly did feel we were not compromising and this was one Sunday to stay in our jammies, sip a rich cup of chai tea for Kurt, bold cup of creamer laced coffee for me, and hold a “church” service between the two of us.  We sought the Lord prayerfully about how He wanted the two of us to gather together in His name, guaranteeing He would be there in the midst of us, (Matt. 18:20).  This particular morning, I shuffled over to the computer, still in that painful, “not awake for anything but a cup of coffee” state.  I attempted to chase away the cobwebs of sleep as well as the guilt for not getting up earlier and heading off to church and fumbled on the keyboard pecking out the search for Joel Osteen.  Scanning his sermons, I finally just clicked on one, trusting God that whatever would come forth would be relevant, in the same way one just opens their Bible with eyes closed and pokes their index finger onto a random page, then expectantly opens the eyes to hopefully see an encouraging word from God and not a scary one about war, death or End Times!

I love Joel’s positive attitude.  I can identify with Joel’s insecurities when he was perfectly comfortable behind the camera, quietly observing.  He, like Jeremiah and Moses, didn’t feel he was qualified to lead with words and yet, God has the WORD of the Lord pouring out of his mouth.  I realize there are those who disagree, and that’s fine as long as we believe what we feel about this man or any other person is from a place of discernment, filtered through God’s heart and not just coming forth from our own opinion, pain, judgment, criticism, or fear.  I know this happens against this particular servant of God, because I too used to be bothered by watching him and hearing his message.  My sincere apologies are extended to Joel if he ever comes across this BLOG!  I feel the need to validate that I LOVE this man and that I KNOW God is using him in a big way right now for the season my husband and I are currently experiencing.

The streamed service began with worship which was nice but wasn’t taking me into the inner chambers of the Holy of Holies.  This type of music is more what I call “praise” and it uplifts your spirit and “peps” you up, which frankly was what I needed to clear my head and awaken my sluggish body.  The worship team then moved into a deeper level of worship with a song which took me to the place of adoration and passion of the Lord which I love to enter.

Kurt and I were each comfortably seated in our own respective chairs, he in the cushy recliner, and me in my comfy yet chic upholstered chair.  As is my habit with worship at this level, I began to sing along slipping into spontaneous worship in which the Holy Spirit and I trail off into another musical composition which complements the vocal of the song playing.  It’s a lovely place that delves you right into the midst of the heart of God.  It’s difficult to explain, but it is a place of abandon where you are no longer self conscious of how you sound but just want to express heartfelt gratitude and worship of the One who is worthy to receive such.  We are told to worship Him with these types of songs, (Eph. 5:19) yet few traditional or mainline churches are willing to “go there.”  It creates an atmosphere of untold beauty, but to those who feel a need to be completely in control or who truly need to be “dignified” it is just too uncomfortable.  Some churches don’t realize this is available to us.  I however, HAVE to go to that place with God in worship.  I hunger for it because His presence is so amazing and touches my heart in ways that when I stay outside His Holy of Holies, afraid to fully enter into His presence, it is unsatisfying and dry to my soul.  This place of worship is a place of intimacy that only a complete abandon to self gets to experience.  As we give all to Him, hungering and thirsting for him as a deer pants for water, (Psalm 42:1), He shows Himself strong and His enemies scatter, (Psalm 68).  Some of those enemies of God are the very things that hurt His children.  So this place of abandon, where the Lord has taught me to go, is a place where I am delivered of pain and healed of what caused the pain.  My Healer and Deliver is in this sweet place of surrender and I love to go meet Him at His alter.  Often, I am moved to tears as I experience His beauty and tenderness.  I understand my description will be foreign to many who read this and at the risk of even sounding crazy to some, I will assure you that once you experience true worship at this level you will not be satisfied with the mundane ever again.  My Lord spoiled me and now having tasted the finest tender filet mignon, I cannot return to hamburger.  This is fine dining!  This is tasting and seeing that the Lord is good, (Psalm 34:8).  

So it was while having that worshipful experience of blessing the Lord with my all heart that Sunday, He in turn blessed me.  He instructed me through unction to go lay prostrate on the floor and pray in tongues.  This is the way the Holy Spirit has given me to pray when I don’t know how to pray. Right at this point I may lose some of you and a major reason why is that this gift is so misunderstood through wrong teaching.  (For an article God gave me over a year’s time span on the precious gift of speaking in tongues, which is scripture based, please email me:  kissfromgodsheart@gmail.com).

While I was lying prostrate on the floor, praying in this manner, the tone of the language shifted from worshipful to warfare.  I could feel the warrior rising up in me as a much more bold tongue came forth.  Even at the risk of freaking out my husband who had not witnessed warfare tongues in me before, I could not quench what the Lord was doing at that moment.  I lifted my head off the floor and found myself extending my forearm in a powerful point.  What I saw before me in a vision was a row of impish looking creatures which were lined up shoulder to shoulder just on the horizon.  For those who remember the disgusting Lamisil commercial for toe nail fungus, that repulsed me to the point I had to look away, these creatures looked the most identifiable to those, only this time I was equipped with the power and grace of the Lord and I would NOT look away but directly into their eyes.  They were all closely observing me as if just waiting for an opportunity to advance.   

Suddenly, I felt the actual presence of my husband standing over me and then lying down to cover me with his body as if he needed to protect me from eminent harm.  Even though he didn’t have a clue at the moment what in the world was happening, he too had unction from the Lord to which he was obedient.  I equate his action as if we were being attacked by enemies yet he was taking a bullet for me, hiding me with the covering of his own body.  Later he told me that during that worship experience for him, the Lord told him to go cover his wife!  This was a symbolic act on his part of the scripture that tells husbands to cover their wives as they are our covering, or protection, (1 Cor. 11).  Because Adam did not “cover” his wife, his passivity left them both, as well as all future mankind, in a state of being “uncovered” or stripped of the glory of God.

This was profound for me in so many ways.  Even though my husband had never witnessed such an occurrence, he still trusted the Lord and was able to be obedient to hear and obey what His God was telling him to do.  This showed that even though he may not have understood what the heck was going on, and he certainly could have been tempted to think I had flipped out, he still participated in the event in the manner he was instructed by God to do.   

This was monumental for me as it gave me encouragement that I will be free to operate in the gifts the way God instructs me, even in front of my husband.  The closet intercessor in me can come out in the presence of my husband without fear of rejection, shame or judgment.  The support I felt in his acknowledgment of that moment as a legitimate encounter with the Lord was massive in sealing our relationship at a deeper level than ever before.  Although it could have been a very uncomfortable encounter for the obvious reasons that it can be offensive to our minds, it was an amazing and inspiring encounter ultimately, and a moment I wouldn’t trade for the comfortable yet mundane worship experience.

If you accept my encounter as legitimate, what does it all mean?  We are told all interpretation belongs to the Lord and He gives it to whomever He chooses, (Gen. 40:8).  We are also told in 1 Corinthians 14:13 to ask for the interpretation to what we are praying.  So I asked.  I’d like to tell you I got an immediate response, but I didn’t.  It has taken two months for me to get the full interpretation, or at least, what I believe at this moment is the complete interpretation.  

Initially, I kept pondering the phrase, “On the horizon.”  What could I see on the horizon?  I could see demons waiting for the chance to advance.  I knew this was a warning from the Lord not to give opportunity to the enemy by opening doors which would give them legal right to come against me.  Since then, I have had many opportunities for strife, bitterness, resentment, and jealousy, just to mention of FEW of the ways that entrapment has seemed to have been unleashed and knocking at the door of my heart.  I would like to tell you I sailed through each attempt to ensnare me.  I can honestly say I have, with the grace of the Lord, advanced victoriously through some trials, however, others I was not so successful and will get to repeat the trial until I achieve complete freedom from any hold those things have on me.  :-}  

I knew in my gut the warning was only a portion of the interpretation, and I kept feeling an urge to keep seeking the Lord for more.  The rest of the interpretation has come to me while speaking with a very precious friend.  I am safe with her and she listens with a Godly, tender heart.  Because God yoked us together in a powerful spiritual way, we seem to flow in an anointing for God to speak to us when we are in prayer together.  While in conversation with her, the vision came back to my mind and I knew I was supposed to share it with her.  I then saw the vision again only this time I could see one of those demons up close to me, facing to his left, turned that direction, with his torso/belly right in my face.  I knew this meant one particular event was very much “in my face” or would be actively coming against me.  Days later, something occurred which wounded me at a very deep level but which I am not privy to share at this particular moment with you.  Suffice it to say, it touched on the very core of an emotional situation for me and has had profound effects.   I believe God is using it for good and I’m grateful for the trial which actually brought about health to my mind and emotions as well as to others I dearly love and to our relationships.  I have also been able to see my husband, once again, prove his love and support for me.

A second prayerful conversation with my sweet sister in the Lord brought the vision back.  I could still see that “up close and personal” view of the one demon; however, I felt it was a different meaning this time.  While I was describing what I was again seeing to my friend I began to think of the scripture in Genesis 15 which speaks of Abraham entering into covenant with the Lord which would redirect his life and open up great blessings not only to him but to all mankind.  A sacrifice had to be made which meant animals were killed.  (For those who are offended at animal sacrifice of the Old Covenant, please understand that through sin, death entered this world and that these “offerings” are symbolic pictures of innocent life being shed for another; which leads us straight to the person of Jesus, the most innocent LIFE being sacrificed for our sins and taking our place, paying the price for sin which was death; yet rising above and overcoming that penalty.  Thereby we, who accept His sacrifice of Himself taking our place and paying our price, are thereby saved.)  

There was a point in the new walk with God, which Abraham had to shoo away the birds of prey because they wanted to take those sacrificed animals for themselves.  This is a picture of how whenever we are getting ready to embark on a new journey with God at a deeper level than ever before, the enemy of God, satan and his kingdom activity, come against that action and try to steal the sacrifice we are making in surrender to our Lord.  This is the enemy’s attempt to prevent the plan of God from coming to fruition in our lives.  It is interesting to note the Hebrew word for birds of prey in that scripture literally means, “ravenous”.  Satan can be relentless in his pursuit to prevent God’s best for our lives when he sees the powerful impact our choice to go forward with God will have.

That up close view of the torso of the demon in my vision represented me being able to see the intentions of the heart of evil since it was right in front of me.  The objective of the enemy of my Lord and me is to steal the new walk of which my husband and I are embarking.  Those demons on the horizon are the birds of prey that are drawn to the place of sacrifice; to the place of new beginnings; what is right on the horizon of breakthrough as we yield our hearts, minds, emotions, bodies, finances, relationships, work, and all other things associated with our lives to the Lord’s plan for our lives.  We have to do as Abraham and shoo them away as they are specifically assigned the tasks to steal, kill and destroy the LIFE that Jesus came to give us in abundance, (John 10:10). 

How do we shoo them away?  We are to use the weapons of God which are mighty through Him for pulling down strongholds.  What do strongholds that have to be pulled down and birds have in common?  They are both up in the air.  It’s no accident that satan is called the prince of the power of the air.  That is the realm above Earth, but we tend to think of it as outer space, or where the clouds are, much higher up than another reality of where there is “air”.  There is air around our heads!  This employs the most active place where satan tries to dominate…our minds!  He brings the thoughts to our minds which will be unhealthy, unproductive, fearful, anxiety producing, negative, destructive and which will ultimately defeat us if we don’t shoo those thoughts away.  In this passive action of keeping them, they will then become a stronghold which will capture our thought life and thereby our life.

I don’t know if any of you have ever been attacked by a bird, but they purposefully dive bomb your head.  They try to attack you at the highest, easiest target for them and like satan, they instinctively know it’s our heads.  We just think we have random thoughts floating around in our minds, but those thoughts are very purposeful intents of the evil heart of the enemy of God to hurt our Father where it counts the most, by harming His children through a most powerful means; what they are thinking about.  This is why God instructs us:

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”  (Phil. 4:8, NLV)

To be perfectly honest, even though I know this, I still have trouble some days “fixing” my thoughts on good things.  It actually feels good to my carnal flesh, (that portion of my mind, body and emotions which still have not been renewed to the word and to which I still have not crucified to death,) to feel sorry for myself; to be justified in my anger or offense; to protect myself with unbelief so I won’t be disappointed if things don’t go the way I want; to be judgmental and critical; to be jealous and threatened; to blame someone/thing other than being accountable for my own actions and choices. 

Some days the enemy is ravenous with his relentless attempts to take hold of my blessings in the Lord.  How, then, do I succeed at overcoming those bad thoughts in those moments?   

God has shown me something that is powerful and works for me.  There is a spiritual law called the power of agreement; when two agree, they have what they have agreed upon, (Matt. 18:19).  What the enemy is after is your SURRENDER to him, giving up and just agreeing to the thoughts he is trying to poison your mind with.  If you agree with him, either through concurring with the thought or by consension through not purposefully standing against those thoughts, then the thought becomes yours and you have taken it into your heart.  This was the very tactic used by satan in the Garden with Adam and Eve.  It was to get them to agree to what he was telling them instead of the word God had given them.  Adam’s failure to DO what God had instructed him to DO left them wide open to the attack that ensued.

God has to allow what we want for our life which gives us the free will to choose.  If we choose to align with the thoughts of the enemy this shows we are in agreement and thereby “want” what he is dishing out for us to partake of.  Even in passivity, we are showing agreement because we are not actively coming against that thing to deny its access in our lives.  We are either for or against; there is no third choice of “middle of the road” or indecision.  (Matt. 12:30; Deut. 30:19)

When those thoughts come, if we will instead just say, whether in our hearts/minds or out loud if appropriate, “I am not in agreement with that,” it breaks the power of what the intent was and the fiery dart that shot through the air at our head is quenched!  It will be a complete miss of the target instead of a bull’s-eye.  Some days, we may need to repeat this several times, but the ungodly connection/agreement will not be made if we will persevere in this.

If we will take it one step further, we can have complete victory at defeating that enemy; find the scripture that is opposite to what the thought was and speak it out of our mouths.  In that, we are wielding the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God.  That is our only offensive weapon in the armor God gives us, (Eph. 6:17).  If we will wield that sword it is the only offensive weapon we need to destroy the attacking enemy!

For instance:

Thought:  You will never make it; you can’t do this.

Word of Truth:  I am not in agreement with that.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Thought:  Your wife doesn’t love you.

Word of Truth:  I am not in agreement with that.  I am my beloveds and she is mine.

Thought:  You’re going to die.

Word of Truth:  I am not in agreement with that.  I will live and not die and declare the works of the Lord.

Thought:  You are alone.

Word of Truth:  I am not in agreement with that.  The Lord will never leave nor forsake me.  

Thought:  You are always going to be sick.

Word of Truth:  I am not in agreement with that.  By Jesus’ stripes, I am healed.

This two step simple process will defeat the enemy’s attempt to poison your mind and life.  Fight the good fight of faith and shoo him away from the battlefield which belongs to Your Lord and you…your mind!  Don’t agree with your adversary the liar; agree with God who is Truth!  You have the mind of Christ!  Amen!

Peace Out!

Photo from my daughter's photography business-Glory Photography.

Glory Photography Facebook page 

I was initially going to write this post about peace in June, but honestly, things kept stealing my peace so I was in no frame of mind to do it.  How can someone write about peace to help others obtain and keep it when I lose my cool over silly things like a driver who hits his breaks when approaching an intersection with a green light?  (GO!!! IT’S GREEN NOT YELLOW!!! YOU IDIOT!!! YOU DON’T YIELD ON GREEN!!!  And yes, I’m indicating yelling with my all caps and multiple exclamation points!!!)  

How can I possibly tell you about peace when I freak out with Customer Service of a company that has screwed up their agreement with me?  I get tested every time by having to speak to someone in a foreign country who doesn’t understand me very well, and I surely can’t understand their thick dialect!  I escalate quickly over outsourcing to someone who isn’t going to quickly fix my problem.

Do I have the right to talk with you about how you too can obtain peace in three easy steps when I lose mine so easily over my husband not tuning into me perfectly?  He should at every moment consider everything I have to say to him as the most important thing he ever heard!  (I really do take issue with the “male selective hearing” but that’s another post!  :)  )

There is definitely a pattern described in the above incidents.  Those situations that I was letting steal my peace are all small and insignificant in the whole scheme of things.  As my daddy used to tell me over and over; and now I see with good reason, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”  I sometimes still do though and in seeking the Lord about why I do that, I feel He has shown me something most of us probably suffer.  He showed me that when I am frustrated or have unresolved anger, those types of situations cost me my peace very quickly and easily.  

My next question is, what am I angry or frustrated about?  I now have an amazing husband who although not perfect, he gives me the life in marriage I always dreamed of.  I feel so emotionally satisfied in that he is making effort to “hear” me and effectively communicate with me.  Even though we sometimes fail at those attempts, we keep trying.  He is my supportive companion and truly connected to me in spirit, soul and body.  I am a blessed woman in marriage which was always something I deeply wanted.  

I am also a very proud mother and grandmother of absolutely beautiful children, (I always consider my son and daughter in-law-kids as my own kids who likewise make me so incredibly blessed in who they are and how they are with my children and grandchildren.)  They all give me such a sense of satisfaction and pride along with delighting my heart and soul in unmeasureable ways.  I have no doubt in the love of my family for me and I certainly love them with all my heart.  

Most importantly, I have the love, adoration, delight, care and attention of my daddy God; my lovely Savior Jesus who has given me everything; and my sweet friend and helpmate, Holy Spirit.  That alone should be enough to make me so content and happy.  What then, is my problem?  Why is it so easy to cast off the precious gift of peace that the Lord, who is the Prince of Peace, has given me?  

Could it be that in living in this fallen world, with its trials and tribulations, I feel like I have not had enough of the things manifest in my life that I am holding out my faith for?  Perhaps I have been seeking God for answers about things for such a long time now, that in my opinion, enough is enough, and now I feel like God is holding out on me.  Instead of enduring and trusting God that His timing is perfect and just honoring Him with my patient pursuit of Him instead of constant frustration over what I don’t have, I instead lose my cool and let my peace go by the wayside only to have to go after it once again.  Then, lets add guilt in the mix to that because what the heck do I have to feel “cheated” about when I just told you what a blessed woman I am and how amazing my Lord is in giving me LIFE?

One day a couple of months ago, God gave me a clear picture of this predicament.  I was following my husband in my vehicle as he was driving his own and leading me through an area of town I was uncomfortable and not familiar enough to just go by myself.  We had stopped at a red light.  I patiently waited and the light turned green.  However, the line of traffic remained steadfast.  I patiently waited for what I consider enough time for the realization to set in that “Hey…you up there in front of everyone…get off your phone and realize you need to move!”  Still no movement, so I gave my horn a quick “Hey buddy, you need to go” tap.  To my mounting frustration, there was still no movement.  I honked ever so slightly longer, with a little more determination, but to no avail.  Being totally exasperated, I now lay on my horn!  I saw my sweet hubby look in his rear view mirror at me and frankly, couldn’t understand why he hadn’t taken the lead in the honking brigade.  He just sat there as well, as if oblivious to the green light!  Traffic finally began to move and wind to the right as the traffic light is located on a curve.  As I rounded the corner, I could see what the holdup had been attributed to.  In the middle of the road was a fire truck that needed to get into a specific area and therefore needed to stop traffic until it could maneuver into position.  From my vantage point, I was limited in my capability to see what all was up ahead of me.  

I immediately thought of the prophet Balaam, in the Old Testament, whose donkey wouldn’t move forward like Balaam wanted him to because he had the capability to see into the spirit realm and could see danger ahead.  The donkey’s refusal to budge actually resulted in saving Balaam’s life, even though Balaam was very impatient and thought about destroying the donkey.  Balaam was the true ass in that story…as was I!  I felt so convicted of my impatience and lack of trust that God can see all things and knows best in His supreme wisdom.   I am short sighted in my humanness and know only in part.  

“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  But let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”  (James 1:2-4 NASV and AKJV)

Peace due to trust in God is my gift from Him to help me get through those times of waiting.  Seeking peace is more important than seeking my answer.  When I go too far in seeking my answer to something, I will know it because I will lose my peace and get frustrated, angry, anxious, bitter, or confused.  In that, I am in pride as I want to override God’s timing and ways.  I have therefore removed myself from His grace which helped me when I humbly trusted Him.  This all demonstrates that I have become focused on the problem/solution instead of God and have become impatient.  

 “For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it may tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.”  (Habakkuk 2:3)

The Bible tells us “Let the peace of God rule your heart, acting as an umpire; deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your mind.” (Collisions 3:15 Amplified Bible)  Just as with ballgames, and the umpire is the person charged with officiating the game, so are we to let peace make the calls for our lives.  

How do we know if we have peace?  What if we don’t feel like we have any peace because our heads are a mess with thoughts, fears, conflicting opinions, etc?  Where is our peace?  

First of all…be still…be quiet.  Settle down your mind and emotions and perhaps even your body.  Take some deep breaths, (breathe in for 4 seconds, and hold for 7, exhale for 8 seconds.  Repeat a few times until you feel a sense of calm.  You can Google “4 7 8 breathing” to get more specific information.)  

Your spirit, where the Holy Spirit resides in Christians, is in your belly; “Out of your belly flows rivers of living water,” John 7:38.  That’s why we say, “gut feeling.”  It’s that place deep in your gut, also called your “heart”, not your head with all its “change-by-moment” emotions and reasonings.  It’s the place that even if your head is saying one thing, your heart can say another.  It’s the place of “knowing.”  You just know…  We’ve all experienced a time when we overrode what our heart was telling us, then suffered the consequences of that disobedience.  We thought, “Dang!  I KNEW better!”  Listen to this deep place inside your heart and refuse to let your thoughts or emotions rule.

 

Some reading this post may have to Google what a Polaroid Instamatic camera is to help you understand this next analogy.  A Polaroid operated by pointing the camera at your subject, clicking the button and out would shoot a blank, square sheet of plastic.  As you watched, patiently, that plastic would instantly begin developing the subject of which you just focused your camera.  It would take a couple of minutes and then you would have the complete image developed before your very eyes!  This is how our spiritual focus works as well.  Whatever we focus our attention on, that is what will develop in our lives.  That’s why God gives us choices and tells us the right way to focus, because He wants only the best to manifest in our lives.  

If we keep our focus on the Lord, He will keep us in perfect peace.  There are times when I am so tempted to freak out, that I then have to picture myself like a horse with blinders on.  I cup my hands on both sides of my face and picture His lovely face directly in front of mine, so close it blocks out everything else.  I focus on keeping my eyes straight on Him and not looking to the right or left at all the things that are vying for my attention.  Those distractions are being used not only to get me off track but cause me to give up my peace.  If I have on the full armor of God, then I also have on the part of that armor that I need to walk successfully in this life.  I’m speaking of those lovely shoes of peace which are more beautiful than any pair of hot, six inch stilettos I have in my closet!  Those shoes of peace help me continue to move forward, with each purposeful step.  Just as I have to choose to take each step I take, I also have to be purposeful to stay in peace.  It is a choice.  I can choose to keep my peace or I can choose to let it go and blow up, freak out, get in fear, get frustrated, cuss, or whatever other method I choose to be in the stead of peace.

I once had a dream in which I was underwater on my side.  I was struggling ferociously with trying to breathe.  I was gasping with eyes closed and fighting through the water to just try to breathe and come to a place of rest.  I opened my eyes and could see a man floating quietly alongside me.  He was likewise on his side and watching me but not interfering or trying to assist.  He was just waiting.  I began to be more focused on Him instead of my struggle and instantly a sense of peace and calm washed over me.  Although still under water, I realized I had begun to breathe rhythmically and deeply.  Once under the influence of peace, He and I began to swim together, side by side, stroke for stroke.  It was a spiritual water ballet of its own beauty and splendor; a communion of the dance in a way that transcended the most elegant waltz.  I know the choreographer of that lovely dance and the Life Guard who saved me from drowning in that dream was Jesus, my Lord and Savior.  I learned from that dream that if I would just surrender to Him, He will give me His peace which passes understanding which will move me through this life with all its struggles and disappointments, wounds and trials.  It’ll be ok.  I will be alright, and I will have emerged from the things that tried to steal my peace more than an overcomer in Him who loves me. 

If you are feeling like you are struggling, you are going counter to the peace the Lord is trying to give you.  Tell yourself, “STOP!”  It’s time to draw back, get quiet and focus on Him.  

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

K.I.S.S.

One day in 1996, going about my daily routine yet interrupting my thoughts, was a gentle whisper of the word, “KISS.” I just kept hearing the word, “KISS”, resonating over and over in my heart. I would see it as a banner in my mind.  Although it was softly spoken, it was loud enough to get my attention although not audible.  I have never heard the audible voice of God while awake, just in "night visions" as the Bible calls them.  We call them dreams.

I was on a new journey and the uncertainty of each new step was a test of my faith and willingness to take risks.  This was a road I started to walk when I was in High School, but one in which I allowed myself to get distracted and ultimately derailed while in college.  In fact, although I loved God and thoroughly enjoyed learning His Word at youth bible studies and camps, it only took two weeks at a liberal, private college to become totally absorbed in the party scene and forget the building blocks of the new composition which was my life.  In college, I was exposed to things never to that degree before and it was thrilling!  I didn’t see it as destructive on the surface, but truly, I must admit, deep down in that very quiet place of my spirit, I KNEW it was wrong.  But I just didn’t care because it FELT good, and I seemed to be a part of something typical and certainly acceptable.  Having come from a dysfunctional family which resulted in social awkwardness and extreme low self esteem, this explosive new attention was a stroke to my damaged self concept. I was constantly asked out on dates and was nicknamed, “Date Queen” by some of my sorority sisters.  Of course, alcohol was always involved with the express purpose of lowering inhibitions, and I found myself doing something I said I would NEVER do…partake of alcohol and get drunk.  I grew up with the damage indulgence of alcohol caused and never wanted to give it an inroad into my own life.  However, once in college, I abandoned my rescue and didn’t pursue God and His Word again until much later and after much destruction resultant from bad decisions I made.

Having had enough of what I caused being my own “lord” and having made the excellent choice to hand over the reins to my life, I was now at a new point in my life, a fresh start, forgiven and picking up where I left off.  This gave me a child-like faith, trusting in the One who knows me more intimately than the best lover, I was now thrilled with the new experiences I was having in Him.  These beautiful experiences in Him did not offend my mind and body but instead succeeded in making me stronger and victorious, not weaker and defeated as my independent choices had done. I now knew enough even from this baby stage of my new journey that I needed to take heed to the constant quickening that kept whispering, “KISS”.  It was important enough to Him to interrupt my thought life with a continual tap on my mind, “KISS.”  It was time to seek wisdom from the One who is WISDOM.  What was my Lord trying to say to me?  What does KISS mean?

I began asking Him to show me.  Teach me Your Ways Lord.  Make me sensitive to Your sweet Spirit.  What do You want me to understand in this experience of hearing You say, “KISS?” 

I knew enough of the Word and had enough common sense to know that if we want something, we need to ask.  I wanted to know what He was really saying to me so I asked.  I then thoroughly expected to hear the answer as easily as I was hearing what started this quest…yet nothing happened.  I asked again, waited, nothing.  I kept asking.  In my puzzlement, I reflected back and thought I had heard someone once say that the “Ask and you will receive” scripture meant to keep asking until you get the answer; so I kept asking…and asking…hearing nothing!  Now I found myself getting a bit annoyed and wondered why the Lord would tease me this way by His repeated whisperings. I passed the stage of annoyance and quickly excelled into full blown frustration, yet I continued to hear, “KISS.”  The tone of the “KISS” I was hearing was still sweet to my soul and I knew I needed to calm my emotions of the anxiety of feeling I was going to “miss” God.  After all, I reasoned that God had good rationale for this action, which I knew was motivated by love.  I gave myself an attitude adjustment through worship of the One who is always worthy of it regardless of what we are going through at the moment.  I asked again, and didn’t hear anything deep in my gut, the heart of where we hear God’s voice, nor did I have any impression of any kind on my heart.  I decided I’d just take matters into my own hands and use what I’ve got at my disposal.  Spread out on the floor before me was my Webster’s Dictionary, thesaurus, Bibles with cross references, concordances to get exact meanings of words in Hebrew and Greek and other various tools.  I got out a notebook I decided to use to begin chronicling my experiences on this new journey and wrote the word “KISS” at the top of the first page.  This would be my project and I was going to treat it as I would have any assignment of utmost importance.  

The research began and prevailed for three solid days as I poured through books, starting out at one point and bunny trailing off to another point.  I found that frustration beginning to grow again, but I kept pressing through.  I loved God and by golly…I was going to grit my teeth, bear down and get this!   Not one thing on the page after page of research and ideas seemed to hit “home” in my spirit.  Nothing seemed to be turning on the “light bulb” of revelation where you reach that point that you just KNOW, “Yes!  That’s it!” 

I sat back having exhausted my resources and myself, and just got quiet.  I forced my mind to obey and be still.  I turned off the incessant thoughts, refused to be angry or resentful over my valiant attempt to understand yet to no avail, and just surrendered to peace.  All of a sudden, it was as if I could hear God’s laughter, not like He was laughing at me in a condescending way as there is no evil in Him, but it was if He was laughing in the way we laugh when we delight in the adorable things our children do which are precious to our hearts.  I immediately heard, “Keep It Simple, Sweetheart!”

WOW! LIGHTBULB!  Looking down at my spread of papers and books and writing utensils; I realized that was the LAST thing I had done…I took something simple, and turned it into something complicated.  This was so typical of my behavior; dive right in without much forethought and give it my all!  My Father just stepped back and let me pour myself into my way of obtaining what I wanted.  

I smiled.  Then I laughed.  I really am such a silly child sometimes, but Daddy God adores me! I realized from that moment on, that we are not to give it “our all” but seek God first, seeing how He wants us to accomplish what He gives us to do.  Sometimes we are to pour all of ourselves into something, but His GRACE IS SUFFICIENT to accomplish the task and we won’t be wearied in carrying a burden too heavy to bear.  Sometimes, He truly does have a much easier way of doing things and we just need to receive our job description from Him.  We need to do this for each task, as what worked for the last one may cause total defeat in the next one.  In this, we are not in the sin of presumption and will continue to seek our Lord instead of being reliant completely on our own resources for which we could then take full credit.  In all of this, God’s ways may be difficult at times yet truly are SIMPLE.  We have an instruction manual in the Bible, and we have an interpreter and helper in the Holy Spirit who brings revelation when we ask for the spirit of wisdom and revelation to be poured out on us, (Eph. 1:17,18; 3:16-19; Col. 1:9-12).  I prayed those very powerful prayers every night before going to bed for several years.  My husband and I still do oftentimes as part of our bedtime routine.

I relate to Peter in the Bible, the fisherman who had been fishing all night and yet caught nothing.  He was weary from his effort.  I’m sure the LAST thing Peter wanted to hear was to go fish some more and from a Carpenter at that!  The Carpenter was instructing him, a professional fisherman, in the ways he could successfully catch fish.  Nevertheless, something in Peter’s heart knew truth when he heard it and he just had to surrender.  In his obedience and humbling of himself, he succeeded in catching such a haul he couldn’t bring it all in by himself!

 KISS from God:  Keep it Simple Sweetheart!

Be still and know that I am God, Psalm 46:10.